Would your life be different if you had a better relationship with your money?
When therapist Nicole Lacovoni decided to open her own wellness center, she spared no expense in creating a facility that individuals and couples alike would gravitate to for whole-body wellness.
But, her client base was slow to grow and money was tight. This kept her up at night, worried and afraid.
One day she was facilitating a couples’ therapy session that had taken a bad turn. The words they spoke — "You’re never there for me," and, "I can’t count on you" — echoed her own relationship... with her finances!
Nicole realized she was in a toxic relationship with money.
This may sound strange, but think about it: The things that consume our time, energy, and attention are the things we’re in a relationship with, for good or bad.
Nicole decided to change her relationship with money for the better by applying the same strategies and techniques she uses in traditional couples’ therapy.
Today, she has a successful practice as a financial therapist to women.
What’s her secret? She challenges her clients to "date" their money — to get to know their own finances with a strategy that’s both fun and productive.
Here are the top 3 reasons why dating your money can help you thrive financially, according to relationships and money expert.
1. It’s good for your "relationship."
In traditional couples’ therapy, Nicole encourages her clients to have regular date nights as a way to strengthen their relationship. After all, relationships can’t thrive unless they’re cared for.
Your relationship with your finances is no different.
To start, Nicole suggests committing one hour a week for a "date" with your money. This helps to personify your finances and alleviate your fears around them.
Plus, when you give your focused attention to this one subject, you can explore how you feel about it.
Ask yourself, "What am I doing with it my money? Do I show it love and respect or am I cheating by blowing it on unnecessary purchases? How am I showing up for my money?"
When Nicole started treating her relationship with money like a romantic relationship, she was able to redesign her feelings and her habits around it.
2. It’s more fun.
Let’s face it, a money date doesn’t sound particularly thrilling, does it? Spreadsheets and calculators don’t exactly scream excitement.
But, just like dating, a little creativity can make your money dates fun.
Nicole suggests setting the mood and mixing it up. This could mean grabbing a spot at a local café with your computer and favorite latte. Then next week, plan for a quiet night at home with a glass of wine and a cozy blanket.
Plus, who says you always have to be alone? Plan a girls’ night with trusted friends and commit to discussing your feelings around money. Ask how others use or save their money.
Nicole says some of her best tips about money came from her friends!
When you make your money dates fun, you’re more likely to stick with them and strengthen the relationship.
3. It helps you succeed.
One of the biggest benefits of dating your money is the potential for success — both personally and professionally.
We date in order to find and get to know potential partners. Some work, others don’t.
In the same way, spending dedicated time with your finances allows you to discover what works for you and what doesn’t. When something doesn’t work, you can move on to something that does.
Energy flows where your attention goes.
Here’s a simple truth: What you focus on grows.
As you spend time with your money, explore what it is you value from it. Maybe it’s freedom, growth, or education. Maybe it’s new experiences or beautiful art.
These values will help you know what to do with your money. Then you can weigh each purchase against your values and be primedfor success.