Your Weekly Quarantine Horoscope for you

Your Weekly Quarantine Horoscope for you


Start your day by drinking tea, try to avoid stressful environments (TV shows, bad movies). Spend this week communicating with family members. If you have a dog or cat try to spend a lot of time with them, they will help you get rid of tension and stress.

Your quarantine hobby: Music, Relaxation, Eat

Fear Zone #Aries: Hoarder extraordinaire. #Aries was the first one at the zodiac’s neighborhood Super Target, toilet paper and Lysol piled into their carts

.Learning Zone #Aries: Works on gratitude journaling to cultivate feelings of abundance and ward off feelings of scarcity.

Growth Stage #Aries: Gives away an item (or five) to someone (who a fear-zone #Aries might have considered a sucker, with just two weeks’ worth of dry goods). Uses their fiery, direct nature to advocate on behalf of a more timid friend.



As far as I know Capricorns are not afraid of covid19, of course, this zodiac sign is distinguished by stubbornness and arrogance, your quarantine week in astrology is the most interesting. Play a lot with your family members, try to do things that you can nott do, for example, bake a cake or create something interesting, because it's a good time.

Your quarantine hobby: eating, reading a book, watching a movie

Fear Zone #Capricorn: Work from home just means they don’t have to interrupt their day with silly human rituals like lunch and rest. Also just realized they can send emails while they deep condition, if they put their phone in a plastic bag and bring it into the shower.

Learning Zone #Capricorn: Wonders if those “30 days to the best ass of your life” challenges actually work. Schedules time to put the claims to the test.

Growth Zone #Capricorn: Chanels their drive for success into a passion that no one wants to see on a CV or in a bikini; it simply gives their life joy and purpose.



#Aquarius, a sign of kindness and intelligence, your mind is so calm and relaxed that it is your duty to comfort your family members which is very interesting, try to spend this week productively, it is a good time to think about business idea because your mind is diverse and your imagination is boundless. Don't be afraid of the coronavirus because you are prepared for it.


Your quarantine hobby: Relax and read .


Fear Zone #Aquarius: Deep dives into conspiracy theories and/or spends all day reading the news while biting their nails.

Learning Zone #Aquarius: Sets timers for how long they will read the news, journals about how the news makes them feel, and considers what those feelings require—maybe just a glass of water and to rub their own belly while whispering you’re doing so good lil angel.

Growth Zone #Aquarius: Picks one way to use their skills or resources to alleviate someone’s burden: knows how to build a website, hits up a local business that has a trash website, and gets it cleaned up a bit and more prepared for online orders.



#Libra, the sign most likely to be featured in a highly rated episode of Cribs because of their stunning shoe closet, the sign most likely to guess which perfume you’re wearing from the scent alone, the sign most likely to actually have a fainting couch and actually use said fainting couch to faint upon when receiving startling news. Libras are intellectual aesthetes given to decadence. They love a good stress nap, or a joy nap, or a post-nap nap.


Your quarantine hobby: eating, reading a book, watching a movie

Fear Zone #Libra: Paralyzed by inertia. Sighs around the house like the heroine of a lesbian Victorian romance who is forlorn about her doomed romance. Spends government stimulus check on dank indica and a vibrator that doubles as a statement ring.

Learning Zone #Libra: Tries their hand at watercolor-painting a self portrait that expresses their emotional sense of self while in a semi-reclined position, à la Frida Khalo.

Growth Zone #Libra: Picks a bouquet of flowers that they find on public bushes in front of businesses on their daily walks. Starts birdwatching. Sends artfully curated gift baskets to their loved ones.



#Scorpio is a water sign with all the benthic chaos of those deep sea creatures that come in shapes hitherto unthinkable in the terrestrial world. A #Scorpio at their most stressed out and paranoid is like an anglerfish. Hear me out: Just like a #Scorpio who uses their well-documented sex appeal and passionate appetites to make weird and sneaky choices, these lil monsters are named for the fleshy, bioluminescent growth protruding from their heads like a floating lantern, which they use to lure prey into the horrorshow of their gaping mouths. Scorpios in their secure, balanced state, are like perfect angel dumbo octopuses, who look like they belong in Totoro and are just deeply feeling, mysterious miracles, hanging out at the bottom of the ocean.


Fear Zone #Scorpio: Divides their time monitoring the many internet fights they are waging in myriad comments sections and texting their ex erotic videos of themselves peeling and eating clementines.

Learning Zone #Scorpio: Creeps on all their enemies from burner accounts but does not actively engage in malicious or petty schemes.